Eyelash Extensions
Added on Jan, 22 2008 at 10:17 PM by Sarah
Oh good god. My absolute worst nightmare has come true. No, not that one...Not that one either....Who do you think you are? It absolutely positively has nothing to do with a large troupe of musical gypsies whose sole purpose in life is to masquerade as totally tubularly talented auto mechanics and then stiff you out of thirty five dollars when all you thought you really wanted in this world was to have your car fixed up with he latest trend in automotive fad: the racing stripe. No, it in fact has nothing to do with fantastically farcical nomads. Yesterday, as I was researching the effects of social movements on the changes put into place by quasi corrupt nations in the driest, quiet possibly worst written chronicle of social history of all time, I just happened to fall quietly into wonderfully slumberous zzz's. Right in the middle of a rather pleasant dream involving a Turkish model and some rather elic...I was shaken from my pleasurable log sawing to an awful sense that something had been lost to me. As I woke, I quickly realized that, to my horror, eyelash extensions had been affixed to either of my beautifully glinting glare orbs. Indeed the eyelash adhesive glue was very much still in the process of hardening, as I stumbled to a mirror to the hysterical beat of my girlfriend's laughter. Were it not for the fact that it was my face, I would have likewise found these false eyelashes quite comical. As it was, however, the eyelash adhesive glue was doing its thing, and within moments they were a rather permanent fixture upon my otherwise unblemished facade. Well, rushing to the bathroom in the vain attempt to see if I could simply wash off the lash extensions I tripped and rolled into a previously unknown doorway, hidden behind a faux mirror and bookshelf in front of that which I had somehow, still uncomprehendingly even to me now, knocked aside in the momentary melee. Behind the mirror, I soon discovered, was an entire world of large hairy mammalian creatures and lizards somewhat akin to the dinosaurs of old! ok, that was a bit of an exaggeration... in fact nothing at all like what I actually came upon. In reality, it was simply a super duper secret passageway to a hidden clubhouse complete with mood lighting, mini-bar (fully stocked with soda and juices of all types), a comfy looking sofa with a massive ottoman, pool table, card table and a grandfather clock of epic proportions. Oh, and it had a fully integrated surround sound speaker set imbedded in the walls and connected to a turntable spinning some of the sweetest jazz tunes of all time. Long story short: eyelash extensions, long roll, ouch, wha?, sweet, many many Fs. In other words, not quite the worst possible nightmare....that's right, no crazy gypsies.