six-sigma
Added on Feb, 02 2008 at 10:07 PM by Sarah
Geez, I thought as I took my seat at the large slab of faux wood surfaced particle board that some how manages to make believe it is my desk, these two hour "management" meetings are ridiculous and a complete waste of time. Just two hours before this restless revelation on the condition of my mental well being, I had been summoned to another of our increasingly common yet wholly counter-productive executive summits. As the commercial vise president for quality control and product development, specifically in charge of our Six sigma online sector, I am obligated to make at least a token appearance in each hellish black hole of time and patience. I suppose it could be said that this last one wasn't exactly a total abuse of my intellect and silently comedic wit, after all, some very interesting revelations did take place....though not entirely pertinent to my devious plans for my Six sigma, defect free computer management, world dominating team...minus the global domination aspirations. Quite on the contrary. This meeting was devoted to the riotous affairs of the apparently frisky office counterparts to my segregated minions. In what can only be termed a seemingly random twist of inter office politics, my boss -or the guy who signs my pay checks, since me and my six sigma black belt operating underlings are essentially an entirely separate entity outside of that conference room- has been secretly dating the new, and might I, as a very single bachelor, say breath-thievingly, and job-stealingly intelligent intern, hot out of the oven of collegiate academia. It came out when the aforementioned apprentice gave a certain "look" to my boss that seemed to say just a tad bit more than "could you please repeat that bit about the optimization of our e-business production front?" Upon the revelation becoming public, you'd think my attempts to create my own brigade of apple laptop toting Six sigma green belt legionaries was a pony race! My goodness the office was immediately up in arms over this apparently horrifying disregard and complete lack of respect for the company's dating policy, which states, quote "their shall be no inter office relationships which present a clear conflict of interests," end quote. My boss, much to his credit, silenced them all when he took up the rule book one of the office flunkies thrust at him and tore it to absolute shreds, whereupon he strode over to his new love and the two kissed in front of the entire staff. So I suppose that wasn't an entire waste of time after all...but I'm still tired.